Death Wish: A 5 Step Guide to Getting a Life Insurance Policy on Others

Viewed from the right angle, a life insurance policy is a pretty sweet investment. Think about it: life insurance pays out when a person dies, and that’s something that virtually every known human has done. First, you pick a hard-partying celebrity, someone off the street or possibly even an insufferable co-worker for a double bonus. Visit the new AAMI site and find out what kind of insurance policies they’re offering that would suit you & your family.

Then just pay the premiums every month and either wait for the inevitable or give fate a nudge and boom, instant jackpot. It’s like playing a slot machine that’s guaranteed to pay out after a while. All kidding aside, it’s a great way to make sure that you have your family covered in case one spouse isn’t too keen on the concept of life insurance.

Fortunately, not many people have figured this out yet, otherwise there would probably be a policy on you. It’s a somewhat tricky process, but the dividends could be well worth it with a policy of a high enough cash value. It’s also highly illegal, but the type of person to enact a plan such as this surely will not let that minor detail give them pause. In any event, there are just 5 main steps to collecting your treacherous treasure.

Step 1: Fill Out Application

Gather all the person’s vital information such as their full name, address and other identifiers. Use them to fill out the application form carefully and completely. Be sure to do thorough research into the person’s life and lifestyle and be truthful and accurate about all your responses, as the only thing that can usually invalidate an insurance policy after it has been established is misreporting on the application. You don’t want to be dishonest, now do you?

Step 2: Obtain Signature

A life insurance policy on a third party must be signed and acknowledged by the person to be insured unless the person is a minor under the age of 15, which makes it somewhat difficult to keep it a secret…if you tell them it’s a life insurance policy. All you need is a signature, the context thereof is not as important. There are two ways to do this. The first is to appeal to their vanity by asking for an impromptu autograph from the person and then carefully trace the signature onto the documents to be signed. This is technically forgery, but is no more illegal than any other part of the plan. When all the required documents are signed, submit the application.

Step 3: Prove Insurable Interest

Life insurance is intended to protect those people dependent on a person’s continued existence from the fallout of his demise. Therefore, you must prove that your financial well-being will be unduly impacted if the person was to die unexpectedly. Use your newly honed skills at forgery to generate bogus documentation demonstrating your true, valid, determinable, and direct economic stake in the continued existence or safety of the insured person, such as a shared business venture or debt.

 

Step 4: Set Up Medical Exam

It can be challenging to convince someone to undergo a comprehensive medical examination for no apparent reason. Go over the questions you would ask another person if they made the same request of you and devise a compelling answer to each of them. When you feel confident in your persuasive abilities, talk to the person about your sincere concern for their health and their need for a medical exam in the near future. Insist on attending to provide moral support and cough loudly every time someone mentions something related to insurance or policies. Admittedly, this is an ambitious endeavor and it helps if the person is exceptionally stupid, but everything gets much easier from here.

Step 5: Wait…or Don’t

Once your wholly fraudulent policy is approved, the final step in the process is to simply outlive the insured party. Few people escape life alive, and if you’ve chosen your target wisely, he should eventually join the majority and get you your payout. Naturally, some people selfishly take a really long time to die, and so if you’re a less patient type, you could always exert some influence over the situation.

The process of getting a life insurance policy on another person without their knowledge is as straightforward as it is problematic. Of course, there may be some loose ends such as the person finding out about your scheme or the insurance provider investigating the many dubious claims that led to your application’s improbable acceptance, but that’s the risk that delivers the potential reward. Getting a life insurance policy on someone without their knowledge is next to impossible if not entirely, and for very good reason.

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